Everyone has these preconceived notions of what Valentine's Day is supposed to be about. If you wear pink, red or purple then everyone thinks you're only wearing those colors as a symbol of what day it is. If you don't wear those colors then you appear not to remotely care about this holiday. And if by some mistake you find yourself wearing black then suddenly you're a hater of love. If you have a boyfriend or girlfriend you're supposed to drop tons of cash on a fancy dinner, flowers, perhaps going to a movie, and some chocolate. If you don't break the bank, onlookers judge you saying you must not really like the person because you didn't go borderline bankrupt just to prove your love. If you're single, you're supposed to find yourself pour glass after glass of wine, eating takeout while binge watching Netflix in an act of bitterness for being alone. Why do we all come to believe these things need to be true? Regardless of the answer, here are the people you will see on Valentine's Day.
The Social Media Maniac
While this could be a guy, chances are this girl will wake up on V-Day posting a picture of her and her significant other with some drawn out caption were only 30% of viewers will read the whole thing. As the day goes on they will post everything from their dozen roses to a cute text message on Instagram with another cringe worth caption. Think you're safe because you don't follow them on IG? You're not. You can bet every post is linked between social media platforms. Hello overload. There is no escape. *insert heart eyes, kissy face, red and pink hearts*
Everyone's Valentine
This guy think he's Mr. Smooth but in reality he's just super thirsty and desperate for a girl to hang out with on Valentine's Day. You can spot him prior to V-Day as the one tweeting "who wants to be my valentine?" On the actual day of love you can count on him to be sending tweets out saying things like "this goes out to all the pretty single girls on Valentine's Day, you're not alone" or "Why do we need one day to show how much we love someone, a real man would do it every day" and other things of this nature. Translated his tweets mean "I have no girlfriend, not talking to anyone but I'm really desperate to get some tonight so I'll literally say anything."You may think you're being smooth but Sir, we're on to you.
The PDA Couples
On a normal day, public displays of affection are irritating and when walking through the halls between class you can always count on that one couple to make you want to vomit your lunch. On Valentine's Day, that specific couple gets so much worse. This is PSA: there is no need for a full on makeout session in the hall between class. You will see each other in 55 minutes. Thank goodness V-Day falls on a weekend this year.
Miss Independent
On Valentine's Day all the "independent women who don't need no man" like to make their presence known. You can spot them in the crowd because their the ones vocalizing on twitter how they don't need a man to make them feel special, buying themselves flowers and posting selfies with an empowering quote. And you know what? There isn't a damn thing wrong with that.
Single Girls
There are two types of single girls on Valentines Day: the ones that make the best of the day and the ones that are bitter as hell. Both take a different approach to the day but chances are both result in the consumption of alcohol. For our purposes lets divide them in to the categories of sugar and spice. Sugar implies sweetness and these girls just want to have a good time! The day is probably a mixture of shopping followed by a nice dinner with the girls. A girls night is necessary so pop in some chick flicks and whip up some margaritas and you're good to go. A instagram selfie of you and the girls is guaranteed to be posted. #girlsrule If you're on the spice side you may find yourself dressing in black and taking snapchats of every couple you see with cynical captions. Your night doesn't consist of sangria and Reese Witherspoon but you will find yourself with boxed wine getting good and drunk. And everyone will know it too because you'll constantly be updating your snapstory and sending out not so suble subtweest about the guy you thought you had a chance of spending the night with. Face it, you're bitter.
Happy Valentine's Day.
The Social Media Maniac
While this could be a guy, chances are this girl will wake up on V-Day posting a picture of her and her significant other with some drawn out caption were only 30% of viewers will read the whole thing. As the day goes on they will post everything from their dozen roses to a cute text message on Instagram with another cringe worth caption. Think you're safe because you don't follow them on IG? You're not. You can bet every post is linked between social media platforms. Hello overload. There is no escape. *insert heart eyes, kissy face, red and pink hearts*
Everyone's Valentine
This guy think he's Mr. Smooth but in reality he's just super thirsty and desperate for a girl to hang out with on Valentine's Day. You can spot him prior to V-Day as the one tweeting "who wants to be my valentine?" On the actual day of love you can count on him to be sending tweets out saying things like "this goes out to all the pretty single girls on Valentine's Day, you're not alone" or "Why do we need one day to show how much we love someone, a real man would do it every day" and other things of this nature. Translated his tweets mean "I have no girlfriend, not talking to anyone but I'm really desperate to get some tonight so I'll literally say anything."You may think you're being smooth but Sir, we're on to you.
The PDA Couples
On a normal day, public displays of affection are irritating and when walking through the halls between class you can always count on that one couple to make you want to vomit your lunch. On Valentine's Day, that specific couple gets so much worse. This is PSA: there is no need for a full on makeout session in the hall between class. You will see each other in 55 minutes. Thank goodness V-Day falls on a weekend this year.
Miss Independent
On Valentine's Day all the "independent women who don't need no man" like to make their presence known. You can spot them in the crowd because their the ones vocalizing on twitter how they don't need a man to make them feel special, buying themselves flowers and posting selfies with an empowering quote. And you know what? There isn't a damn thing wrong with that.
Single Girls
There are two types of single girls on Valentines Day: the ones that make the best of the day and the ones that are bitter as hell. Both take a different approach to the day but chances are both result in the consumption of alcohol. For our purposes lets divide them in to the categories of sugar and spice. Sugar implies sweetness and these girls just want to have a good time! The day is probably a mixture of shopping followed by a nice dinner with the girls. A girls night is necessary so pop in some chick flicks and whip up some margaritas and you're good to go. A instagram selfie of you and the girls is guaranteed to be posted. #girlsrule If you're on the spice side you may find yourself dressing in black and taking snapchats of every couple you see with cynical captions. Your night doesn't consist of sangria and Reese Witherspoon but you will find yourself with boxed wine getting good and drunk. And everyone will know it too because you'll constantly be updating your snapstory and sending out not so suble subtweest about the guy you thought you had a chance of spending the night with. Face it, you're bitter.
Happy Valentine's Day.
- Monday, February 09, 2015
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